Embrace the suck (you've heard it before, and I'm here to tell you again) (+ a workout!)

Ah, bench pressing. Le sigh.

Many of you, I’m sure, super enjoy upper body exercises. I, however, with a wobbly shoulder and easily-frustratable mind, do not.

I set up to bench. I feel good; I feel strong; I feel ready. I put my fingers on the knurling at the spot where they go (did you know the bumps on the bar have a name?? It’s a fun word.). I get super tight, engage my lats, plant my feet on the floor ready to drive the second I begin to press. I unrack the bar, pull the bar apart and down, drive my legs, press up…and it just sucks. Like, man. My shoulder feels funny. I’m not seeing the rate of progress I do with squats and deadlifts. It doesn’t even feel better at the same weight (a PR in my book). I’m doing everything I know how to do, and it just blows, man.

Ya with me?

We all have an area of our lives – a lift or otherwise – where we feel like we’re doing what we need to be doing, and it’s not going anywhere. At least, it doesn’t feel like it does.

And then, what do we do?

Do we buckle down, stay true to the process, keep doing what we know we should be doing, knowing that success is inevitable if we stay the course?

Of course not.

Because we’re human.

We’re wired to avoid things that are difficult or scary or extra work or a threat to our survival (and, as far as I’m concerned some days, benching is a threat to my emotional survival. Do I even lift?).

But, here’s the thing:

When things are going well, and we aren’t experiencing any issues or hitches or problems, often times, we don’t look for how we can improve. Why would we? Everything is working, and there’s no need to fix something that isn’t broken. It’s when things are messy, sucky, and not going right that we explore possibilities to improve. We’ll find a solution rather than abandon another project, if we can change our minds about it. It’s where the magic happens. Because the very last thing we want to do if we’re not seeing results is be inconsistent. #WonderWomanLoading mentality comes into play, and hard.

“Embrace the suck” is a fun little phrase that floats around the interwebz. And that about sums up my experience with the bench press…which has carried over to countless other less-than-ideal life snags.

Look, you guys, the odds not always being in our favor is a part of life. But, just because we’re presented with a thing we didn’t necessarily want doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hold value. And we have a choice: do we whine, blame, shame, and complain our way through it? Or do we take ownership of the situation, put ourselves back in our power, remember to be grateful (and, trust me, if I can find a list of 5 things to be grateful for mid-crapfest-bench-session, anyone can), and keep it moving?

We ALWAYS have options, even when it doesn’t feel like it. The more powerful of which include:

                -clear communication

                -acknowledgment that whatever we’re going through really fucking sucks

                -being thankful for an opportunity to grow

                -acceptance

                -game planning

                -reflection

                -action

                -keep on doing the work

Each and every time we find ourselves in a situation (you know that *one thing* God keeps bringing back up? That *one thing* that ALWAYS FLIPPING HAPPENS?), we get to back up and choose. This experience is meant for us. It’s not something that’s happening to us. Perhaps it keeps coming up because, this time, we could try something different to receive a different outcome. Perhaps the Universe wants us to step back, embrace the suck, and learn in the deep-down places where things are hard, what we’re really made of: how good we are at solving a problem, or how powerful and resilient we are at getting through a job loss or breakup or tight budget where nothing seems to be going right, or how much integrity we have in doing the right thing when everyone else is going left.

The bench press has taught me what God has been showing me basically my entire life: the dreamers, the doers, the problem solvers, the hippies – we aren’t meant for a life of mundane. We aren’t meant to uphold the status quo, to go with the flow, or do what someone tells us to do just for the sake of doing it. We’re meant to change the world, one step at a time, and to do that, we’ve gotta get in the mud and find out where the pain is and why it hurts. Embracing the suck means more than just acknowledging that it’s shitty; it’s loving every second of it, knowing that it’s useful.

Ultimately, our lives are up to us. We get to choose to be glad for even the things we hate, and we get to choose to make them better, if that’s how we’re so called. The iron can teach us that, and, if we look, so will the rest of life.

So, the next time we’re in the trenches of a bench session or dry-heaving in the middle of a metcon or trying to reel in our minds during yoga, let’s remember: there’s a lesson even in the thorniest patches of things we despise. We get to expand and grow through it.

#WonderWomanLoading. All day every day.