All in mindset

Right Now, It's Like This

Right Now, It's Like This

Stephanie Ondrusek
mindset

The above is a mantra I found in an article a year or two ago, when I first began a meditation practice.

"Practice" being the operative word, as, like with many things, it is a constant work in progress, calling me to examine the expectations I hold both of what "meditation" is and of myself, the outcomes I expect (if any), the reasons behind why I'm doing what I'm doing. Practice is fertile soil, ripe for plucking more than what you think you've planted.

Most people I've connected with over the last few weeks are feeling pushed to their limits. Like, yes, opportunities abound to practice all the mindfulness and tuning in and self care we've aspired to incorporate into our routines, but does this field have to be so dang full? Not all the lessons we're getting are ones we're enjoying, ones we've expected, or ones we'd choose, if given the choice.

Life, eh?

"Right now, it's like this," just like the picture says, is something to which I return again and again.

Shaming Yourself for How You're Moving Is Probably the Last Thing You Need to Be Doing Right Now (Some Compassion ❤)

Shaming Yourself for How You're Moving Is Probably the Last Thing You Need to Be Doing Right Now (Some Compassion ❤)

Stephanie Ondrusek
body image, mindset

Many of us are overloaded, for one reason or another (or several), whether you're still working (thank you, thank you, thank you) or are staying at home (thank you, as well). We're confronted with our feelings and the mechanisms we've been using to avoid them, with nowhere else to go.

This has some of us turning back to old, comforting habits we had previously chosen to let go. If you're there, and struggling ("Why can't I stop eating 'mindlessly'?" "Why can't I stick to the fitness routine I had before this? There isn't that much difference."), I'd like to offer you some compassion: it makes sense, in the face of an unprecedented event, that we'd turn to our oldest, most reliable ways to self-soothe (and, for most of us, food, cooking, reading, sleeping, lots of TV, games, phone scrolling, and all sorts of things we brand as, "lazy," (etc.) in our culture, are what we had access to in our earliest days, or have proven to be most reliable and easily-accessible in other turbulent times).

This has others of us stuck steadfastly to routines, gripping tightly to any sense of "normal" we can find. Our bodies might be clamoring for rest, for slowing down, for comfort, and routines can bring comfort. If you're there, I'd like to offer you compassion as well: it makes sense, in the face of an unprecedented event, that we'd turn to what helps things make sense, to what feels reliable, to our ability to count on ourselves to follow through with what we feel needs to be done.

In either circumstance, we are set on a relatively rigid pattern in hopes that we can reliably bring some sense of predictability in an unpredictable time (and also, in many cases, avoid feeling the very real feelings of fear, of sadness, of anger, of anything you're feeling that feels beyond your ability to cope, especially given then scope of things).

How to Navigate the Pressure of At-Home Workout Perfection

How to Navigate the Pressure of At-Home Workout Perfection

Stephanie Ondrusek
body image, mindset

Yesterday was the first time I've gotten my heart rate up via exercise in over two weeks (I think; I lost track in this YA novel dystopia we're living), and that is okay.

A few years ago, it wouldn't have been.

Now may be a time you're feeling frustrated, pressured, or panicky about your fitness routine or your body image. It's a time of high stress (an understatement), and in times of high stress (especially emotional stress), we turn to what we know, to habits that have become well-worn tracks, to coping mechanisms we've used for a lifetime.

Sometimes this is helpful; others it is not.

If you're struggling with feeling like you're not doing the "right" thing when it comes to exercise and movement amidst global chaos, I invite you to ask yourself why you're putting so much pressure on yourself to move in the first place.

Fitness Is a Vehicle for Connection

Fitness Is a Vehicle for Connection

Stephanie Ondrusek
mindset

I've often said fitness is a vehicle: it's where many of us meet folks who share our interests, and also where many of us end up meeting ourselves.

We don't always start out this way, though, or, at least, we don't always see it.

Most clients I've coached in the last 10+ years have come to me with a goal to change their bodies in some way, but when we dig underneath, rather than hearing they really want to be a certain size or hit a certain number on a squat platform, I hear things like...

"I'd really like to feel comfortable in my own skin."
"I'd like to be able to run around with my kids without knee pain."
"I hope someday I can teach my daughter how to take care of her body in ways that feel good."
"I want to feel accomplished, like I acheived something to be proud of."

So much of this is about acceptance, about belonging, about connection, about relationship. That's what we're all really after, after all. It's easy to get lost along the way, thinking this achievement or that thing will bring it to us, without realizing it's available to us, exactly as we are right now.

That gets sticky, too, though, doesn't it?

Lessons Learned From Burnout

Lessons Learned From Burnout

Stephanie Ondrusek
coaching, FAQs + hacks, mindset

Sometimes, even the smallest change can feel catastrophic.

You hear to break your goals down into smaller chunks, but what happens when, even when boiling it down to the ridiculous, it still feels like way more time and/or effort than it’s worth?

I’ve found what’s often underneath this is fear, including but not limited to that of spending energy on something that isn’t worth it, of not being able to achieve the goal or complete the task, of asking for help or rest, of saying no (no to whom? 👀 ← important question for you and your situation; worth asking if you’re saying no to yourself in saying yes to others).

With so much fear and uncertainty, it’s easy to forget who you are, where you are, and the life you want to live.

How Movement Helps Your Personal Development Practice

How Movement Helps Your Personal Development Practice

Stephanie Ondrusek
feminism, mindset

So, you're sitting there, mid-February, having abandoned all notions of resolutions, thinking about the hike you took this weekend and the dinner you're cooking later, wondering why you didn't allow yourself some space for freedom sooner. When all of a sudden you hear chatter creeping up, wafting through the breeze like the smell of city trash in the summer: your coworkers are on their way to the break room, making one self-deprecating comment after another about how they've "failed" already, and they sit down to join you. You're having a tough time listening without

a) ripping your hair out or flipping a table
and/or
b) feeling pulled back into the diet culture soup.

But of course you don't want to do either of those things, and you can't just leave, because you've been trying to be friendlier at work. Why do you always find yourself in these situations?

Is This You? [[Last Call!]]

Is This You? [[Last Call!]]

Stephanie Ondrusek
body image, Bold Body Initiative, coaching, offers, mindset

So, you’re sitting there, half-drunk smoothie at the corner of your desk, zoned out on a Thursday with the trillion things you have to do before you bring work home for the weekend running through your mind. You’re wondering why this smoothie doesn’t just taste better and why exercising feels like such a chore and why you never follow through on anything, and this ever-growing to-do list gumming up the works like the smoothie that won’t come through the straw is proof.

When you think about the person you want to be—that you swear you could be, if you just got it “right”—instead of feeling inspired, you mostly want to take a nap. Having enough time to do that, though, is laughable, so you grit your teeth and think, “just one more day/week/month.” You know you’re juggling too much, but you’re not sure how to stop. It all feels so urgent, so important, so much like no one else will do it if you don’t (and it needs to get done, so guess what!). What you really want is someone to take a good look at it all and help you see what you can put down so you feel like you again.

→ Hi, hello, this is what I do. ←

It's Early on a Tuesday Morning in January: Are You Telling Yourself You "Should" Be at the Gym?

It's Early on a Tuesday Morning in January: Are You Telling Yourself You "Should" Be at the Gym?

Stephanie Ondrusek
body image, Bold Body Initiative, coaching, FAQs + hacks, offers, mindset

It's early on a Tuesday morning in January: are you telling yourself you "should" be at the gym?

Time, even if we have an excess, can feel squished and squeezed like every minute is promised to someone/thing. It's common for the womxn with whom I work to schedule themselves last, if at all.

Like many others, time is not only a static thing, but also a thing with which we are in relationship. What I mean:

When you think about how much time you have, do you consider how you'd like to fill it before you do so? Do you consider if some things will take a disproportionate amount of time up front, knowing they will take less time as you gain experience and efficacy? Does that prospect make you feel daunted, or do you feel excited by the idea? Do you feel like everything will be okay if you're "off schedule," or does that make your palms sweat thinking about "making up" "lost" time? Is time ever really lost at all?

Put another way:

Is discipline, a hallmark of #dietculture/#hustle culture, holding you back?
-
[possibly. probably.]

Tired of Not Following Through on Your Goals? Make 2020 the Year You Trust Yourself Again.

Tired of Not Following Through on Your Goals? Make 2020 the Year You Trust Yourself Again.

Stephanie Ondrusek
Bold Body Initiative, coaching, FAQs + hacks, mindset, offers

“I don’t ever follow through.”

A phrase I hear a lot, most often from womxn I coach, and here is (some of) what’s often beneath it:

“I’m struggling with this goal I’ve had (and not yet met) 1573x. I am smart, I care a lot, and I’ve done a lot. Like, A LOT. I’m crushing my career, my kids are alive, and I make time to get coffee with another adult regularly. But when it comes to [fitness/food/self-care/rest], I don’t do it regularly. It seems really simple [go on a walk/eat a vegetable/read a book for fun/take a nap], but I just can’t do it. How have I figured out so many challenging and complicated things, but I can’t remember to go on a walk?

:insert self-deprecating laughter here:

I guess when it comes to myself, I don’t ever follow through.”

Rough, for sure, and not exactly a feel-good start to the new year (or a new week, or any day).

One of the things most illuminating in coaching is these stories, for so many reasons, not the least of which is most of our, “issues,” aren’t really about what we say they’re about at all, but the body story (in which it is your body that needs, “fixing”) is easier to tell (+ have a solution for) than the story underneath.

So, if in this brand-new year you’re, “already,” (👀) struggling with a, “lack of follow through,” that’s starting your day and year off with the same old story about how you’re not good enough and you can’t trust yourself to make the changes you want, let’s practice together how to unpack that so you can make changes you ACTUALLY want to make (+ feel good doing it).

You Have More to Do with Your Life Than Change Your Body.

You Have More to Do with Your Life Than Change Your Body.

Stephanie Ondrusek
body image, coaching, Bold Body Initiative, mindset, offers

We often do not separate our beliefs about our physical bodies from the rest of us, in our current culture.

We try to pretend like we can/do, or like this programming doesn't run deep snaking its tentacles into every crevice of our lives, but it always catches up to us. We believe certain things about certain bodies (+ certain habits, + certain ways of showing up in our lives), and, for most of us for quite some time, we do our best to distance ourselves from the shame spiral created by a world profiting from as many people feeling as bad as possible about themselves (so we can be sold a solution). The process of shifting all these beliefs—of seeing them for what they are and how they've impacted you + those around you—is often lengthy, imperfect, uncertain.

It's also freedom and truth.

A recovery not just of your full humanity but all of ours.

You are (and we all are) so much more than a body.

Where Can It Be Easy? Where Can It Be Enough?

Where Can It Be Easy? Where Can It Be Enough?

Stephanie Ondrusek
coaching, FAQs + hacks, mindset

Learning to be with your body isn’t a math equation, and once I realized that, I started to notice how it actually felt when I wasn’t trying to force it to keep up with sky-high plans on top of everything else I was juggling in my life. Like many things, I noticed without coercion and with curiosity, I began to hear and work with myself rather than against.

I learned it feels good to me to drop all the thought threads in some swings or incline pushups at the sink or stray sets of other repetitive, mildly sweaty movements. Unbroken sets of 50 used to sound like torture to me, like a challenge that was always bigger and meatier and more intimidating. Now they sound like a lilting lullaby.

For now. That may change, as bodies and minds do.

If you’re like me and most womxn with whom I work, no motivation hack in the world is gonna make it more likely you’ll get to the gym. It’s not a desire thing; it’s an overbooked one.

The questions here, for me:

  • Where can it be easy?

  • Where can it be enough?

  • How would it feel good to interrupt that overwhelm shame train (not like punishment for hopping on it) and redirect its energy?

When Was the Last Time You Sat Still? (How and Why You'd Want To)

When Was the Last Time You Sat Still? (How and Why You'd Want To)

Stephanie Ondrusek
body image, coaching, FAQs + hacks, mindset

When was the last time you sat still?

No rushing around to do 17 things at once, no phone in your hand, no Paw Patrol in the background just to keep your kids quiet, not trying to meet the demands of the four people talking to you at the same damn time.

A laughable proposition, maybe, if your life feels like it's in a blender and you're doing your best to hold on.

The benefit of stillness, though, is it helps the noise begin to settle.

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