Tired of Not Following Through on Your Goals? Make 2020 the Year You Trust Yourself Again.
“I don’t ever follow through.”
A phrase I hear a lot, most often from womxn I coach, and here is (some of) what’s often beneath it:
“I’m struggling with this goal I’ve had (and not yet met) 1573x. I am smart, I care a lot, and I’ve done a lot. Like, A LOT. I’m crushing my career, my kids are alive, and I make time to get coffee with another adult regularly. But when it comes to [fitness/food/self-care/rest], I don’t do it regularly. It seems really simple [go on a walk/eat a vegetable/read a book for fun/take a nap], but I just can’t do it. How have I figured out so many challenging and complicated things, but I can’t remember to go on a walk?
:insert self-deprecating laughter here:
I guess when it comes to myself, I don’t ever follow through.”
Rough, for sure, and not exactly a feel-good start to the new year (or a new week, or any day).
One of the things most illuminating in coaching is these stories, for so many reasons, not the least of which is most of our, “issues,” aren’t really about what we say they’re about at all, but the body story (in which it is your body that needs, “fixing”) is easier to tell (+ have a solution for) than the story underneath.
So, if in this brand-new year you’re, “already,” (👀) struggling with a, “lack of follow through,” that’s starting your day and year off with the same old story about how you’re not good enough and you can’t trust yourself to make the changes you want, let’s practice together how to unpack that so you can make changes you ACTUALLY want to make (+ feel good doing it):
Why do you want this goal, really? Spend some time digging underneath: is it to improve your health? Have more time with your kids? Feel more like you did when your life felt more manageable? Feel sexy? Feel like you’re reliable and achieve everything you set out to? There’s more there than your body and your surface-level habits, promise. What is it that you care about, really?
Now that you see what else is there, does this sound like the life you want and person you want to be? Is it in alignment with your values? If yes, let’s investigate the barrier. If no, let’s investigate why you’ve been chasing it and what could fulfill that desire instead (probably much more easily).
The story you’ve attached to not yet having this change down pat: is it true? @imdrtee gave me a helpful tip: create an evidence locker, meaning, in short, any time you have proof of yourself being who you’re working toward, take a pic/snap a screenshot/write it down. Easier to remember you can grow when you have a bunch of evidence showing you that you ARE that person and have done the thing (or something similar) already.
Test yourself out! You’ve got evidence you can do hard things, and you don’t have to climb Mt. Everest all at once. Think you don’t ever follow through? Now that you know what you’re after really, plan to take one step: add one vegetable you actually like to eat, or turn your phone on silent for one meal, or do one 10m YouTube video in your PJs.
The real meat here is, one step at a time, you see you can trust yourself, and in that healing, you follow through for you.
Happy New Year. <3
PS- I have a program designed to support you working through every one of these steps (+ identifying your values, picking apart the stories, and realigning your work to feel good and make progress). It was a group program once, but I have redesigned it a bit to be a more in-depth one-on-one coaching experience.
Want in?
Learn more (and sign up!) here.
