On Wearing the Shorts (or Sleeveless Top, or Bikini) and Taking the Picture

On Wearing the Shorts (or Sleeveless Top, or Bikini) and Taking the Picture

Stephanie Ondrusek

This photo was taken over Memorial Day weekend, when my brother was in town to play at a lacrosse tournament.

☆

Our family has had a lacrosse-filled Memorial Day weekend since I was a freshman in high school (when we moved back north, the first time). And yet, you'd have no idea I was there for most of them.

I spent years dodging cameras, worrying about what I'd eat (at a TAILGATE, where there are like, 4 options), readjusting my clothing, seeing if people were sneaking glances at my body or monitoring what I put on my plate or how often I realized half a cheeseburger (no bun) and a leaf of lettuce and coffee to curb my appetite wasn't enough for 14h in the heat (imagine that!).

Guess how much fun I had? Guess how relaxed I felt, during a time dedicated to relaxation?

IF YOU SAID NOT VERY (MUCH), YOU'D BE RIGHT.

If You're Tired of Trying to, "Love Your Flaws," You're Not Alone. There's More to This.

If You're Tired of Trying to, "Love Your Flaws," You're Not Alone. There's More to This.

Stephanie Ondrusek
body image, feminism, mindset

We won't be talking about, "loving your flaws," here, for quite a few reasons, but perhaps the most universal one?

I don't think that's a goal you really have, when we get down to it.

I don't think it would make you feel good to pick on some body part you've been told needs to be fixed, agonize in the mirror over it every morning to keep it top of mind all the time, only buy clothes that cover it up, and somehow be totally hype about it anyway.

It doesn't make sense.
Marketing to you that way is dishonest, IMO.

How (One Way) to Say No

How (One Way) to Say No

Stephanie Ondrusek
feminism, mindset

ABOUT THIS EXPRESSION I MAKE:

100% of the time, I adopt this hands-under-chin situation when I have just delivered information that is likely unwelcome and/or at least slightly uncomfortable to its target.

This being the circumstance, I could not be more thrilled my friend Jen captured this on film, at our weekly #neighborhoodworkoutgroup.

ITEMS THAT HAVE PRECEDED THIS POSE:

⚡ "I can't do that for you."
⚡ "This is hypocritical."
⚡ "I need more support."
⚡ "Do you see how this is problematic (fatphobic, racist, misogynistic things have all made appearances here)?"
⚡ "This is out of alignment with my values."
⚡ "I disagree."
⚡ "No."
⚡ "🎶 nooooo 🎶" (in song)

(The context for many of these situations is wonderfully sticky, nuanced, and sassy conversation, as most of the things I'm into often are. Other stories for other days.)

All statements good to practice saying, particularly in a culture urging us, as womxn (the marginalized experience to which I can speak directly, but, for sure, this is exponentially compounded for others), to be quiet, to acquiesce, to carry the burden, to solve and fix and nurture.

Patterns: Why Are You the Way that You Are?

Patterns: Why Are You the Way that You Are?

Stephanie Ondrusek
body image, coaching, mindset

If you're here, it's likely you've tried quite a few diets and exercise plans throughout your life, very few of which have made the lasting changes you were hoping.

You've tried the 21-day-"fixes," the grapefruit diets, the plans in Self magazine (I'm not picking on them, really; that was one of the first places I ever saw any sort of structured workout myself!), and they've all yielded lackluster results.

It's also highly likely that you've realized this is a pattern, and one you'd like to break.

As more of us in fitness decide we want to let go of harmful patterns (e.g., the binge/restrict cycle, over-exercising/burnout cycle), are we helping ourselves understand what to do next?

I Ripped My Pants: 3 Tips to Deal with Clothes that Don't Fit

I Ripped My Pants: 3 Tips to Deal with Clothes that Don't Fit

Stephanie Ondrusek
body image, Bold Body Initiative, FAQs + hacks, feminism, mindset

Earlier this month, I met with a CPA.

As though taxes weren’t enough bossy boss lady fun, I made the executive decision to put on pants. If you work from home or from a gym, you know how rare an event this is.

I went to put on my favorite pair of jeans,—soft, well-worn-rarely-washed denim, the kind that fit just Goldilocks-level right—and as I realized they’d been folded in a drawer for 6 months, I squatted down, and, riiiiip.

How Do You Feel Powerful?

How Do You Feel Powerful?

Stephanie Ondrusek
mindset, general BAMFery, feminism

POWER: what does it mean to you? Where is it found?

Does it hide from you, running to the dingy corner as soon as you enter the room and turn on the light? Or does it display itself proudly, waving its flag in your life as you march like General Sherman on his way to the sea, asserting your presence and leaving flames in your wake?

As womxn in a patriarchal world, there is no shortage of places we're told we can't be. There is no dearth of reminders of our status, supposedly submissive. In the board room, in the bedroom, in the gym, in the damn left-hand lane—we're underrepresented, told we don't belong, deemed, "too emotional," to handle it.

POWER: it isn't something supposedly meant for us.

Which is why I'd like to ask you where you find it for yourself.

How to, "Release That Which No Longer Serves You," or, "Rewrite Your Stories." (Let's Cut Through the Noise, Shall We?)

How to, "Release That Which No Longer Serves You," or, "Rewrite Your Stories." (Let's Cut Through the Noise, Shall We?)

Stephanie Ondrusek
Bold Body Initiative, coaching, FAQs + hacks, body image, mindset

If you spend much time on the internet, particularly in the personal development and/or fitness mindset space, it's likely you've heard quite a bit of talk about, "rewriting your stories," and, "releasing that which no longer serves you." 

Rather than the freedom these phrases were likely intended to impart, I was left with a slow-burning rage:

OKAY, YOU SUPER-EVOLVED BEING IN THIS TINY INSTAGRAM SQUARE, BUT HOW? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

*insert failure and shame*

Why You Haven't Tried that Fun New Movement

Why You Haven't Tried that Fun New Movement

Stephanie Ondrusek
body image, mindset

I spent a long time wrapped in the coiling tendrils of perfectionism, that Devil's Snare tightening its grip the harder I tried to escape it.

I've forced myself into countless situations (friendships, relationships, jobs, even a college major!) that weren't really for me, or even things I wanted. My intuition was screaming at me to get out--you know the feeling when, deep in your gut, you feel clenching, writhing, twisting, and a bit of nausea? I was a pro at ignoring it. Through lots of trial and error, I've learned to let go... slowly but surely.

One of the places this has been most prevalent in my life has been in my fitness endeavors (and, I suspect, many of yours, because I've had some version of this conversation with almost every client I've ever trained longer than a few weeks).

How to Know You're Making Progress (A Letter From (and to) My 16-Year-Old Self)

How to Know You're Making Progress (A Letter From (and to) My 16-Year-Old Self)

Stephanie Ondrusek
body image, Bold Body Initiative, coaching, mindset, offers

This is a note from my journal one week into my senior year of high school.

This is one of the times that journaling really tugs at your heartstrings. If you don’t have a regular journaling practice, I’d encourage you to start, even if it’s just one line in your planner or on your phone about how you felt that day, and this is why: you gift yourself the opportunity to witness your growth in real time.

How's THAT Working For You?

How's THAT Working For You?

Stephanie Ondrusek
Bold Body Initiative, body image, coaching, offers

We tell ourselves we'll be happy when we're small enough, we'll eat the cheesecake on Friday when we've earned it, we'll love ourselves when we hit our goals.

We believe the freedom to wear a bathing suit, the deliverance that allows one to choose the curly fries as well as the salad, and the liberation to appear in candid photos are things for other people.

(Who are those people? We don't know, but they're certainly not us.)

We keep aiming to shrink ourselves, and, as a result, we stay hidden.

How's that working for you?

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