We Can Take Our Power Back.
Perched on top of the table, video game controller in hand, he casually said, "it's really not that complicated. Just eat better food. Anything else is lazy. If you’re fat, then eat some vegetables. I don’t understand."
Lightly. Disinterestedly. Like he just brought about world peace.
Years ago, I was involved with a young man who held the views most of us have swirling around in the darkest parts of our minds.
When we're wrapped in shame, our bodies and our lives are not our own. We search for validation wherever we can find it, often grasping at straws in hopes that something will fill us up.
I’d wrapped my worth up in his opinions; I believed that I was lazy – that I would never be validated as a fitness professional until he said I looked good, because, of course, when he was talking about those "lazy people," he meant me. His voice echoed those of so many others, reverberating shame from every cranny of my skull. We’re never experiencing a shortage of people telling us we’re not good enough.
In the face of such generalizations and implied demands for our bodies, who are you to offer the benefit of the doubt and say, “let me help you understand how it can be that complicated?”
Who are you to go further, take a stand, and say, "well, actually, saying someone who doesn't conform to your aesthetic standard is 'lazy' isn't something I tolerate, because I value autonomy?"
You’re the one actually living the story. You’re the person with preferences, with goals, with non-negotiables, with pockets of time that are uniquely your own.
You're the one setting the standards: for your body, for your relationships, for your life.
He got one thing right: it really isn't that complicated. We get to choose for ourselves what goals we have and how we want to get there. But, often it morphs into a convoluted path, as we’re trying to fit our goals and our preferences into a mold that isn’t made for us. That will certainly throw a wrench in the works.
We can reject the voices dripping with condescension. We can abandon the 12-week plans in favor of finding ways to move, eat, and live that light us up, call us into our freedom, and remind us that we’re mystical, magical, fiery women worthy of our own time and attention. We can remind the world that one donut isn’t lazy and three stalks of celery aren’t virtuous.
We can take our power back, one rep, one good-enough meal, one rewritten story at a time.
Want to learn how?
I’m opening up a few online coaching slots this month, partnering with you to design your life to live into the fullness of your being. Drop the plans, the shame, and the narratives that are anything less than your own. Click here to fill out this form and see if we're a good fit.
xoxo,
Steph
