All tagged perspective

Stressed? 😬 (Options for Your Training Program, + a Reminder)

Stressed? 😬 (Options for Your Training Program, + a Reminder)

Stephanie Ondrusek
FAQs + hacks, coaching, programming

“I went to squat yesterday. My warmup felt fine — I was a little tired, but I thought once I started lifting I’d feel better. I usually do,” a client said to me."When I got to the working sets, everything felt HEAVY. Like, heavier than it should have. I finished the workout anyway, because it was written down, so I had to do it. But I’ve felt like everything is heavy and takes longer than it used to for a couple of weeks now.

What am I doing wrong? Am I losing all my progress? How am I going backwards when I haven’t skipped a workout?”

Where Can It Be Easy? Where Can It Be Enough?

Where Can It Be Easy? Where Can It Be Enough?

Stephanie Ondrusek
coaching, FAQs + hacks, mindset

Learning to be with your body isn’t a math equation, and once I realized that, I started to notice how it actually felt when I wasn’t trying to force it to keep up with sky-high plans on top of everything else I was juggling in my life. Like many things, I noticed without coercion and with curiosity, I began to hear and work with myself rather than against.

I learned it feels good to me to drop all the thought threads in some swings or incline pushups at the sink or stray sets of other repetitive, mildly sweaty movements. Unbroken sets of 50 used to sound like torture to me, like a challenge that was always bigger and meatier and more intimidating. Now they sound like a lilting lullaby.

For now. That may change, as bodies and minds do.

If you’re like me and most womxn with whom I work, no motivation hack in the world is gonna make it more likely you’ll get to the gym. It’s not a desire thing; it’s an overbooked one.

The questions here, for me:

  • Where can it be easy?

  • Where can it be enough?

  • How would it feel good to interrupt that overwhelm shame train (not like punishment for hopping on it) and redirect its energy?

What You're REALLY Saying About Yourself When You Talk About Your Body

What You're REALLY Saying About Yourself When You Talk About Your Body

Stephanie Ondrusek
body image, coaching, mindset

When you’re in the soup of diet culture, believing your (allegedly unlovable, misshapen, wrong) body is all that you are, loving it can seem so far away it feels surreal.

Learning to detach our worth from our appearance doesn’t require that we actively love every inch of ourselves. It would be disingenuous and harmful to proclaim that feeling worthy of love, respect, and belonging can only happen once you love every inch of your body. But, maybe, we could get to a place where we all realize, with every waking moment and throughout every single interaction, we are more than our bodies (easy to say we know this, but how often are you on the receiving end of judgments about your ability to perform at work because of your gender presentation, for example? How often do you make assumptions about someone's strength or stamina because of their body size?).

When working with body image clients, one of the first things I invite them to do is to examine the language they use to describe their bodies. It is often illuminating how potent that vitriol can be.

Is it any wonder self-love feels far away when the script we play is a constant stream of, “gross,” “sluggish,” “lazy,” “flaky,” “undisciplined,” and the like?

Back to School Season and the Return of Routine

Back to School Season and the Return of Routine

Stephanie Ondrusek
coaching, mindset, offers

I work with a lot of moms (and quite a few teachers), in my coaching adventures. As a result, even though I only have four-legged children at the moment, this time of year is fraught with, "back to school," the hustle and bustle of getting everything ready for the change of seasons.

Even if you aren't getting little ones ready for the bus (or writing lessons in your not-really-spare time), I'm sure you can feel the shift in the air, yes? September is a mini-new year, in many ways; fall is one of my favorite times to take stock of where we've been, where we're going, and what we need to let go in order to get there. It's a time of evaluation, of harvest, of moving to prepare for cooler weather and more time inside learning new things (at any age, in any context). You might be looking forward to fresh-picked apples, for example, or you might be finding it easier to make time to get movement that makes you feel like yourself again, now that your kids are on a more reliable schedule.

(Or maybe you're not, because as soon as one routine gets set, it seems like things get shifted yet again, and we're standing there re-learning how to fit ourselves into our own lives. It happens.)

Either way, we're standing on the edge of a season asking us to come home, get grounded, and build a foundation that will sustain us into our next season.

Why I Don't Believe in the, "No Excuses" Movement

Why I Don't Believe in the, "No Excuses" Movement

Stephanie Ondrusek
coaching, feminism, body image

When I decided to become a coach, I realized, first and foremost, this sort of trust was vital to the success of everyone involved: if I can't humble myself enough to listen—deeply and fully—or to understand that at any given moment you may be having an entirely different experience and perception of our interaction and/or environment than I do (and believe you about your experience), then am I really being of service?

Am I really helping you along with your goals?
Does this change when your goals are different from my goals?
Or when they're different from the goals other people have, or have had in the past?

Seems quite basic, when you put it that way, but I haven't always hit the mark, and I find time and again, as I both get to know coaches further and have hired some myself, we could all use work, here. Not being understood seems to be a common experience of the human condition, especially in fitness.

Patterns: Why Are You the Way that You Are?

Patterns: Why Are You the Way that You Are?

Stephanie Ondrusek
body image, coaching, mindset

If you're here, it's likely you've tried quite a few diets and exercise plans throughout your life, very few of which have made the lasting changes you were hoping.

You've tried the 21-day-"fixes," the grapefruit diets, the plans in Self magazine (I'm not picking on them, really; that was one of the first places I ever saw any sort of structured workout myself!), and they've all yielded lackluster results.

It's also highly likely that you've realized this is a pattern, and one you'd like to break.

As more of us in fitness decide we want to let go of harmful patterns (e.g., the binge/restrict cycle, over-exercising/burnout cycle), are we helping ourselves understand what to do next?

How to, "Release That Which No Longer Serves You," or, "Rewrite Your Stories." (Let's Cut Through the Noise, Shall We?)

How to, "Release That Which No Longer Serves You," or, "Rewrite Your Stories." (Let's Cut Through the Noise, Shall We?)

Stephanie Ondrusek
Bold Body Initiative, coaching, FAQs + hacks, body image, mindset

If you spend much time on the internet, particularly in the personal development and/or fitness mindset space, it's likely you've heard quite a bit of talk about, "rewriting your stories," and, "releasing that which no longer serves you." 

Rather than the freedom these phrases were likely intended to impart, I was left with a slow-burning rage:

OKAY, YOU SUPER-EVOLVED BEING IN THIS TINY INSTAGRAM SQUARE, BUT HOW? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

*insert failure and shame*

"No One Ever Told Me It Wasn't About My Body Before." (probably not like the rest of what you're reading on New Years' Day)

"No One Ever Told Me It Wasn't About My Body Before." (probably not like the rest of what you're reading on New Years' Day)

Stephanie Ondrusek
body image, coaching, mindset, offers

“No one ever told me it wasn’t about my body before.

It was never about me. Nobody before you. I hope you know that has given me the ability to move in the world with less fear and shame; I can be entirely myself without disclaimers and I get to reclaim all of that energy and put it into things and people I love.

It has an impact on every single person around me.

No one told me that I can be as smart and insightful as I am and STILL not know that it isn’t my body’s fault and it isn’t about my body.

I can be a genius and still be fucked up by these things, but I don’t have to be anymore.”

And neither do you.

How to Handle Toxic People

How to Handle Toxic People

Stephanie Ondrusek
mindset

Do you know any toxic people? (lol, it’s the holidays; if yours are anything like mine, for at least one day between November and February, you’d rather rip each individual hair strand out of your head and reattach it than spend one more minute in someone’s presence).

I used to wonder what the common thread was relating all these "toxic" people. What was the common thing I was "falling for" every time?

Can I Share a Personal Story with You? (+ work with me!)

Can I Share a Personal Story with You? (+ work with me!)

Stephanie Ondrusek
body image, coaching, mindset, offers

I grew up in an emotionally abusive household, and I received a message from a young age that I wasn't good enough. For millions of reasons, but the point on which it all converged was my body.

My body became a physical manifestation of everything I wasn't: I wasn't tall, or thin, or unconventionally beautiful like my mother, or quiet, or succinct, or self-controlled.

I was too much, constantly spilling over the edges of my container, and my body was alleged to have reflected that.

It's effortless to pick on our bodies; the "flaws" there are visible, after all, so they're very easy to pinpoint.

You Don't Have to "Earn" Your Body (Fitness is Not a Punishment)

You Don't Have to "Earn" Your Body (Fitness is Not a Punishment)

Stephanie Ondrusek
body image, coaching, offers, mindset

Ready for some unconventional holiday season advice?

You don't have to "earn" your body (or mashed potatoes).

It's the language of the season, the undercurrent of every holiday-themed meal, but I don't find it productive. In fact, it often does more harm than good.

I think it's terribly destructive to use this language, not only because it sets us up on a food-as-reward-fitness-as-punishment cycle, but also because it reinforces an idea I am vehemently against.

Grit: A Reward You May Not Have Considered

Grit: A Reward You May Not Have Considered

Stephanie Ondrusek
mindset, coaching, offers

Honing our crafts takes reps under the bar, after all. To learn where we thrive under the pressure and where we cower in fear, we need to set out on the path.

When looking into some research on perseverence and change, I found that the highest performers work on their weaknesses the most. Seems obvious, no?

But it's the last thing most of us want to do.

We want to avoid them, find ways around them, out-muscle our weaknesses with our strengths.

Load More