What You're REALLY Saying About Yourself When You Talk About Your Body
When you’re in the soup of diet culture, believing your (allegedly unlovable, misshapen, wrong) body is all that you are, loving it can seem so far away it feels surreal.
Learning to detach our worth from our appearance doesn’t require that we actively love every inch of ourselves. It would be disingenuous and harmful to proclaim that feeling worthy of love, respect, and belonging can only happen once you love every inch of your body. But, maybe, we could get to a place where we all realize, with every waking moment and throughout every single interaction, we are more than our bodies (easy to say we know this, but how often are you on the receiving end of judgments about your ability to perform at work because of your gender presentation, for example? How often do you make assumptions about someone's strength or stamina because of their body size?).
When working with body image clients, one of the first things I invite them to do is to examine the language they use to describe their bodies. It is often illuminating how potent that vitriol can be.
Is it any wonder self-love feels far away when the script we play is a constant stream of, “gross,” “sluggish,” “lazy,” “flaky,” “undisciplined,” and the like?
And, if you’ll notice, those aren’t simply descriptors of appearance; they’re also value judgments.
Your legs aren't sluggish, and neither are you just because you haven’t yet found a way of movement that you enjoy.
Your arms aren’t gross, and neither are you for having an extra Oreo.
Most of the fitness industry exists on the backs of discrimination and oppression; it was designed to be exclusive, hoping that you'll feel badly enough about being, "left out," that your fear of being fat, with all its culturally-associated (wholly inaccurate) implications, will drive you to spend more (and exhaust yourself more), so that you never opt out by preferring to spend your time and money elsewhere. It hinges upon unspoken assumptions, on the cycle of judgment and shame.
Naming things as they are, no judgment attached, opens up the world for you to realize you have more to do than be a flat stomach and a "toned" pair of legs. It allows you to see love, worthiness, belonging, and respect are available to give and receive regardless of body size, shape, or presentation. It helps you begin to extend this to others as well as yourself, 100% as-is.
How will you begin to notice your language today? Reply and let me know!
xoxo,
Steph
PS- looking for a more personalized approach? Fill out an application here and I’ll be in touch!
