When Was the Last Time You Sat Still? (How and Why You'd Want To)
A question for you, amid the hustle and bustle of the end of the year....
When was the last time you sat still?
No rushing around to do 17 things at once, no phone in your hand, no Paw Patrol in the background just to keep your kids quiet, not trying to meet the demands of the four people talking to you at the same damn time.
A laughable proposition, maybe, if your life feels like it's in a blender and you're doing your best to hold on.
The benefit of stillness, though, is it helps the noise begin to settle.
I didn't believe it either, but I'd been sifting through the mess looking for tiny nuggets of gold in a tornado and it just kept getting harder, so last year, I figured I might as well try ("can't really get worse," while sometimes famous last words, are also good points to pivot for the hell of it, you know?).
It seems like nothing is happening (ah, the idea that nothing is worthless, what a troll), or like the 5 minutes you can spare aren't enough, but healing begins when we learn how to be with ourselves, and to do that, we need to know who we are and what we think/feel/value without all the wounds and demands and desires projected and/or vomited onto us.
5 quiet minutes are gold.
(If you're wondering how these are related to strength training, fitness is perhaps my favorite entry point for healing work. Our desires for our bodies often echo the desires we have for ourselves, and are closely tied to our identities. For example, as a high-achieving womxn, it's likely you see yourself as being reliable, capable, and successful. It makes complete sense, to me, then, that you'd feel a pull toward accountability partners (who can make sure you're doing what you say you will when it comes to your fitness + nutrition) and plans that have a start and end date (something you can know you accomplished and is move to the "done" pile). But is it the rigid plan you actually want, or the feeling of completing it? Is it the strength goal you're after, or the ability to say you did what you said out to do? Neither is good or bad, necessarily, but worth considering, as a squat PR is a very different thing from a sense of accomplishment and approval.
Back to stillness and why it's important.)
Wanna start learning what's *really* going on with the things stressing you out (your body, your job, your relationships, your kids, Trump)? What you *really* need, besides a sabbatical and a daily pedicure and whatever else the internet says will "fix it?"
Sit down. (More than one person I know has sat in their closet. Really anywhere will do.)
Close your eyes.
Take a deep breath or seven, focusing on that tiny spot beneath your nostrils or on the rise and fall of your chest.
Notice your heart and how it feels.
If you feel safe, ask the person in there what she's feeling in her body, without the story attached (eg, "nervous," "sad," "excited," or, "angry," are just fine; no need to explain).
When you're done, return to the world.
Repeat daily.
Over time, you'll become more familiar with yourself, and you'll begin to notice those feelings when you're NOT still. You'll start to hear your own voice through the cacophony of life. Steadier, more sure. An anchor in the wind (and couldn't we all use more of that, at this time of year?). ❤
xoxo,
Steph
