All in mindset

Transferable life skills: 4 steps to setting up for the barbell back squat

Transferable life skills: 4 steps to setting up for the barbell back squat

Stephanie Ondrusek
coaching, FAQs + hacks, general BAMFery, mindset

Ah, the squat.

It’s humbled everyone out there, in one way or another.

We’ve all seen videos of huge dudes with 58 plates loaded on a bent bar amping themselves up, Lebron-ing some chalk around, and looking like their heads are gonna explode somehow go down and come back up with those hundreds of pounds.

An impressive feat, to be sure, but also unlikely to be any of our goals here in real life (cool party trick, though); it’s far more likely to cause a bunch of anxiety surrounding what is, at the bottom of everything, a fundamental movement pattern for life.

We look at the bar, we remember the intimidating videos, we remember that we’re new – that we’re in the conscious incompetence or conscious competence stage of learning – and instantly feel that, because we aren’t yet masters, we’re unworthy. We talk ourselves out of great things every day, team, because of this feeling, and, a lot of times, overcoming this in bigger, more impactful areas of life starts with giving ourselves a smaller victory to build momentum: overcoming this in the gym (or on the yoga mat, or deep in meditation, or if we somehow find ourselves on a treadmill, fill in the blank.).

We’ve cultivated awareness, we’ve gotten our breath under us, we’ve accepted our situation, and here, in the barbell squat, we have our first challenge.

So! I’m gonna walk you through it, from a form perspective, step by step. Because if some meathead dude can do it, so can you (also, hello to any meathead dudes that may be reading this, and sorry you’re on the back burner rn.).

#WonderWomanLoading

#WonderWomanLoading

Stephanie Ondrusek
mindset, general BAMFery

I say, “I lift heavy shit” all the time, and it’s true. But I don’t just mean a physical external load. We’ve all overcome quite a few things to get to where we are, and it’s all heavy. Having the mentality that we aren’t teeny tiny mice who are here by chance, but as a consequence of our strength, changes everything. We get to choose to take up the space we’re allotted and then create more. In the gym, in our relationships, in life. #WonderWomanLoading is the motto ‘round these parts.

Turning Temporary Goals into Automatic Habits: a Shame-Busting Guide

Turning Temporary Goals into Automatic Habits: a Shame-Busting Guide

Stephanie Ondrusek
coaching, general BAMFery, mindset, ballgnorance

A la Voltaire, being a little less perfect to be a little more consistent is where it’s at. Cutting ourselves some slack, acknowledging that we’re bound to screw up, just like everyone else, and making it no big deal releases the shame associated with perfection. And we all know that shame – a message that tells us that we are this screwup, and we’ll never get it right – is not a motivator, but a prison.

For whatever change upon which we are embarking, this is the key. A lot of us (helloooo, mostly speaking to myself, but hopefully this resonates and I’m not alone. If I am, you’re about to see one of the reasons my anxiety comes out to play, so keep reading for a show) fear change, because the associated pain of changing is really a fear of not being good enough.

We assign super-deep meaning to this change – we know whatever it is will make us a better, stronger, cooler version of ourselves – and if we fail to make it happen, then we are shitty/weak/lame. So, often times, it’s easier to stay where we are, and be kinda okay, than to try something new.

HELLO!!!!

Writing that down for the first time a few years ago made me realize how small and silly that was. Would you say that to your best friend, if they tried something new and didn’t get it exactly right the first time? To your kid? To your dog?

Okay, maybe to your dog. I’m not super lenient, emotionally, when Lara Croft chews something new.  But, otherwise, come on.

Change is admirable. Trying to do better for ourselves is a noble pursuit, no matter the outcome. And guess what! 100% of the time, we become better, no matter what: we either learn something about ourselves, achieve a goal, or are a step closer.

So, how do we adopt this mindset to make change permanent? To move from temporary resolution to automatic habit?

Create Your Life (We Have Zee Powaaa!)

Stephanie Ondrusek
coaching, general BAMFery, mindset, offers

One of my favorite Richard Branson quotes is, “if an opportunity knocks, and you don’t know the answer, take it and figure it out.” Coming from a person who went from big box gym environment to corporate wellness environment to now working for herself, all with very little clue to what she was doing at the beginning of each endeavor (and zero formal preparation for one of those transitions), I can assure you, you got this. It may be uncomfortable, and it may get weird, but it will all work for your good. There are very few things in life that are un-figure-out-able.

We get to create our lives through our choices, and we are more powerful than we realize.

I've Been Kicking Butt for 3 Weeks Now...and I'VE GAINED WEIGHT. What Gives?

I've Been Kicking Butt for 3 Weeks Now...and I'VE GAINED WEIGHT. What Gives?

Stephanie Ondrusek
coaching, FAQs + hacks, mindset

This is normal! SO normal. Where we get into trouble is, this happens, and, instead of keeping in mind these 3+ reasons and staying the course, navigating through the murk, we either say f it and give up, or we try to “exercise off” the weight, thereby increasing our appetite even further, binging, and feeling ashamed about it and bringing on the need to pay exercise penance…repeat ad nauseum.

Solution?

I’ve got plenty!

But the first is to key in and pinpoint what’s happening. If there’s no issue with appetite and random binges, it’s probably just #s 1&2, so stick it out for a few more days.

If, like most of us, there is an issue with appetite, then that’s where our mindset work on peace with food comes in. We’ve talked about it here and here, but, summary, is essentially the same, just a little more work: stay the course. Add protein and veggies, evaluate how that feels, maybe add a few carbs or fat, evaluate, repeat.

There’s no deadline on this goal: it’s all a process. What most of us are actually after is being a version of ourselves that’s a little better than the current model. And for that to happen, all that’s needed is small steps full of change. Which take a shitload of courage, certainly, but are doable, especially when we keep in mind that most of our goals really are about how we feel.

Feeling good >>> looking good >>>>>>>> mental food/scale/fitness prison.

An Easy Recipe & Why Losing Weight Doesn't *Always* Mean Eating Less

An Easy Recipe & Why Losing Weight Doesn't *Always* Mean Eating Less

Stephanie Ondrusek
fooooood, mindset

The problem here is that we often are so used to eating the same thing or the same way day in and day out- especially while “on a diet”- that we haven’t paid attention to the cues our bodies are giving us in years. So, when we’re in a phase of life where we’re exercising less (either more skewed toward recharge activities or due to illness/lack of motivation/injury), instead of naturally eating less but still gravitating towards what serves us (veggies, proteins, fat as needed for delicious factor), we’re used to blindly following a plan, failing at it, and falling victim to the f it effect: “f it, I already had a burger instead of grilled chicken…I’ll get fries too. And a beer.” This leads to us feeling bloated and sluggish, with a heaping side order of shame that we failed yet another plan.

There’s a better way: eat more slowly, pay attention to our hunger levels, eat until satisfied, and see how our energy levels respond, which will tell us if we hit the Goldilocks spot (not too little, not too much, but just right).

This is a process- one that doesn’t get finished overnight!- of learning what our bodies are telling us and when. It won’t be perfect the first (or second…or tenth) try, but I can assure you that, if we stick to the process of seeing what happens when we eat well and adjusting if we experience negative effects (bloat, gassiness, energy crashes), there will come a time where food is just food, not the mental equivalent of the balance beam, and what works for our desired outcomes will be intuitive.

A Post About Resolutions (& how to Create Some that will Actually Improve your Life).

Stephanie Ondrusek
mindset, general BAMFery, FAQs + hacks

I’d love to share with you an exercise I do at the beginning of every year. Writing these things down and remembering that any change starts from a place of love, inspiration, and excitement (rather than hate, blame, and dread of “having” to change this thing we hate…hey man, we’ve all been there and seen how well *that* worked, ::coughcough:: not at all) helps us remember why we got started in the first place. Even though we’re 10 days in, if you haven’t done so already, sit down, write these questions on a piece of paper, set a timer for 15m, and free write/type your answers to find your magic:

1.       What do I do well? What, in particular, went well in [2016]?

2.       Where do I have room for improvement? What do I want more of in my life (feelings or things)?

3.       Why are these improvements important to me? What will I feel or do better by accomplishing this? How will it affect my daily life and routine?

4.       What has been standing in my way of getting this done before now? Why is now different?

5.       What am I willing to give up to achieve this goal? What am I unwilling to sacrifice?

6.       How can I capitalize on my strengths (#1) to achieve the [peace/magic/stability/joy…answer from #3] and make 2017 the year of actual, sustainable change?

Survive the Holidays: Set Some Boundaries; Choose to Love (always).

Survive the Holidays: Set Some Boundaries; Choose to Love (always).

Stephanie Ondrusek
mindset, general BAMFery

It’s the week before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring…except whoever’s doing the cooking (and any last-minute packers, like me.).

Visiting friends and family for the holidays can be a stressful affair for many. I wanted to write about love and boundaries: topics that will be helpful to keep in mind during the all-but-inevitable holiday conflict (hey, when a bunch of people who’ve known each other all their lives get together, some buttons are bound to get pushed).

So, step one in smoother holidays: choose to love. ALWAYS. Even when you get called crazy. Or when your aunt says that super-offensive thing that has you thinking, “HOW ARE WE EVEN RELATED??” Or when your dad burns the pie. Or whatever else really grinds your gears. Choose to give the benefit of the doubt. Choose to remain unoffended. Choose to still think of that person as a flawed, unique, good-hearted individual. Choose to love.

Anti-Resolution, Anti-F It Holiday Thoughts (AKA, Navigate the Middle)

Anti-Resolution, Anti-F It Holiday Thoughts (AKA, Navigate the Middle)

Stephanie Ondrusek
coaching, fooooood, workouts, mindset

ESPECIALLY throughout this season, where many people stress over food (from its preparation to accommodating diet preferences to feeling like we “shouldn’t” eat something), finding what works can seem overwhelming, but it’s simple: what keeps us full but not uncomfortably stuffed, what energizes us, what helps us meet our calorie needs, what keeps our cravings under control, what brings us joy…which, I’ve found, is almost never what someone else tells me should.

Also important to remember is that exercise is not punishment.

It’s tempting to want to “work off” an indulgent season, especially given all the #fitfam fotos of girls in their underwear doing “fasted cardio” at like, 3 in the morning (what are you training to be, Batman? Who works out at that time?). Not to shame them or anything, because if that’s what you want, then, by all means, go for it. This is the perfect opportunity, however, to recognize a few things flawed with fitness trends.

“Working off” an indulgent season is a rocky mindset and one that we will never catch up to, since it’s impossible to be perfect with nutrition and workouts all the time. In my experience, a better way to think about our fitness is by remembering that we (usually) don’t need to tell toddlers to run around and play; they just do it, because it’s fun to move around and wiggle and run with our friends. Finding a form of movement that brings us this joy and that allows us to get in touch with our bodies (and spirits!) will serve us far longer than whatever is trending.

Choose to be thankful, always (tacky, but true.)

Stephanie Ondrusek
mindset

Gratitude and joy are spiritual practices bound to a belief in human connectedness and in a power greater than ourselves. We can combat the sense of foreboding, soothe the pain of defeat, amplify the bubble of joy, and increase the love around us by acknowledging how truly grateful we are for the person, the situation, the connection, the beauty, the moment around us. Gratitude allows for joy – which requires uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. When we are thankful for what is presented and accepting its flow, we engage with the world in a childlike, joyful state. And the best part of all of this?

WE GET TO CHOOSE.

In any moment, at any time, in any situation, we get to choose to believe that there is enough and that we are enough. Gratitude is the practice (because we get better at it over time) of acknowledging this in any and every situation, no matter how high or how low. It’s the antidote to the emotional rollercoaster of life.

Load More