Bodies change.
At present, you find yourself in the midst of circumstances that supply different stressors, different time constraints, and different desires than those of the ghosts of circumstances past.
All in mindset
Is Your Workout "Working?"
Is your workout "working?"
A client came to me once saying that her workout didn't "work." She twisted her hair around her fingers, obviously nervous to say so.
"I love the feeling I'm getting during our sessions & in my own gym time," she said. "I feel stronger. I push myself harder, and I love feeling accomplished. I can lift more weight. I'm having fun. But it's just not...working."
Of course, because I am a fan of questions more than most other things, I asked what she meant.
Grit: A Reward You May Not Have Considered
Honing our crafts takes reps under the bar, after all. To learn where we thrive under the pressure and where we cower in fear, we need to set out on the path.
When looking into some research on perseverence and change, I found that the highest performers work on their weaknesses the most. Seems obvious, no?
But it's the last thing most of us want to do.
We want to avoid them, find ways around them, out-muscle our weaknesses with our strengths.
A Better Path to Self-Care for the Holidays
Loving yourself looks different for everyone, and it's important you find what it looks like for you.
For some, it's strength training. It can be meditating. It can be yoga. It can be cooking. It can be your favorite show on Netflix. It can be a manicure and a bubble bath and a glass of wine.
Those acts of self-care are important parts of loving yourself, for sure, but this picture is not complete. The ultimate act of loving yourself, in my opnion — the one ring to rule them all, if you will — is to protect your energy.
Fitness Doesn't Have to be a Punishment.
Fitness doesn’t have to be a punishment.
It’s not the Visa for food binges. No debt collectors will come calling.
You’re allowed to move in a way that makes you feel good, simply because it makes you feel good.
You can discover your desires, your fears, your passion, and your power in the gym, all without changing a damn thing about your body if you don’t want to. And you can change and sculpt your body without the current iteration being “bad,” “wrong,” or, “gross,” if you so choose.
Strength is Not Just the Iron.
We tend to think of strength in one context: how much can you lift? But strength is so much more than a number on a bar.
Strength is more than an ego boost; around these parts, we spend a lot of time discussing being more than a number, and this is no exception (a sometimes difficult shift, as we realize that "not defining ourselves by a number" means ANY number, even ones that prop us up. We're more than our abilities. We have inherent worth begotten simply by birth.).
Fitness Can Be About More Than Getting Smaller
Toning, sculpting (coolsculpting?), shaping, firming: they're all the same.
They're words used to indicate physical transformation. I can get on board with that: you're powerful beyond measure, and you have the power to show up in your body (and in your life) exactly as you see fit.
The issue I take, though, is that those are almost exclusively used to give us all the same goal: getting smaller.
Fitness is about SO much more than that.
I Tried Something New Recently.
I did a new thing recently.
Due to injuries, stress, and poor-quality sleep, I've been moving my body in new ways. It's been a process of relearning how to tune in — something that is relatively easy for me under some heavy weight, but, I've noticed, is not so natural (at least not without a steady stream of judgment) in other mediums of movement.
I've been doing some #mediocreyoga for about 6 months (which you've seen intermittently in my Instagram stories, if you're playing along!), and earlier this week, a new class was advertised that was beginner-friendly. I'm also in a new area, so, I figured, why not?
And just like that, I took my mediocre yoga out into the world.
Why I Don't Do Before-and-After Photos Anymore
I'm not into before-and-after photos, because I don't believe in comparison.
Not even of the "#youvsyou" variety.
I've found them to be damaging for many people: implying that smaller is always better, or that the "after" version of you is somehow more worthy, the new standard against which you should measure from now on.
I'm constantly changing, and the past iteration of myself isn't bad or wrong or less evolved. She's just different.
How to Get Started (You've Been Thinking About it for a While Now).
"But HOW?"
I get asked this question a lot, and it's a fair one.
HOW do you start strength training if you've never felt like you belong in the gym before?
HOW do you eat just a few bites of "bad" foods?
HOW do you wake up in the morning and not hate on your stomach?
HOW do you dance when you're a clumsy dancer, or write when you're an unclear writer, or love when you're an insecure lover?
There aren't always easy answers, and, "just start," while true, isn't very helpful in the swirling overwhelm.
"Steph, Can We Try That?"
Rigidity in our programs keeps us uninformed: it keeps us enslaved to a program or a personality dictating our goals to us and promising that their methods are best. We don't give ourselves the opportunity to be our own best teachers—to explore, to experiment, or to say, "that's not my jam."
Allowing my body the space to not be perfect showed me that I actually don't have to be perfect anywhere. I know what's best for me, and I can change course at any time.
How to Stop Hating Your Body
I've discussed it before, but it bears repeating: the language you're using has a tangible impact on your perspective.
Many clients come to me unhappy with their bodies, desperately hoping that the program I present will hold all the secrets to body change, and, as a result, happiness.
They're disappointed to find out that it doesn't always work that way (I do write great programs, of course, and ones that will help you find joy, but most people are surprised to discover that getting their dream body often feels different from how they thought it would.).
Liking our bodies (and ourselves) is an inside job, one that can't be completed in an hour a day at the gym and a salad every night for dinner. It's a practice, and it often feels unreachable: how many times have you asked yourself, "how do I go from hating everything about my body to loving it? LOVING it?"
It seems a million miles away for a lot of us. It did for me.