All tagged change

Lessons Learned From Burnout

Lessons Learned From Burnout

Stephanie Ondrusek
coaching, FAQs + hacks, mindset

Sometimes, even the smallest change can feel catastrophic.

You hear to break your goals down into smaller chunks, but what happens when, even when boiling it down to the ridiculous, it still feels like way more time and/or effort than it’s worth?

I’ve found what’s often underneath this is fear, including but not limited to that of spending energy on something that isn’t worth it, of not being able to achieve the goal or complete the task, of asking for help or rest, of saying no (no to whom? 👀 ← important question for you and your situation; worth asking if you’re saying no to yourself in saying yes to others).

With so much fear and uncertainty, it’s easy to forget who you are, where you are, and the life you want to live.

Turning Temporary Goals into Automatic Habits: a Shame-Busting Guide

Turning Temporary Goals into Automatic Habits: a Shame-Busting Guide

Stephanie Ondrusek
coaching, general BAMFery, mindset, ballgnorance

A la Voltaire, being a little less perfect to be a little more consistent is where it’s at. Cutting ourselves some slack, acknowledging that we’re bound to screw up, just like everyone else, and making it no big deal releases the shame associated with perfection. And we all know that shame – a message that tells us that we are this screwup, and we’ll never get it right – is not a motivator, but a prison.

For whatever change upon which we are embarking, this is the key. A lot of us (helloooo, mostly speaking to myself, but hopefully this resonates and I’m not alone. If I am, you’re about to see one of the reasons my anxiety comes out to play, so keep reading for a show) fear change, because the associated pain of changing is really a fear of not being good enough.

We assign super-deep meaning to this change – we know whatever it is will make us a better, stronger, cooler version of ourselves – and if we fail to make it happen, then we are shitty/weak/lame. So, often times, it’s easier to stay where we are, and be kinda okay, than to try something new.

HELLO!!!!

Writing that down for the first time a few years ago made me realize how small and silly that was. Would you say that to your best friend, if they tried something new and didn’t get it exactly right the first time? To your kid? To your dog?

Okay, maybe to your dog. I’m not super lenient, emotionally, when Lara Croft chews something new.  But, otherwise, come on.

Change is admirable. Trying to do better for ourselves is a noble pursuit, no matter the outcome. And guess what! 100% of the time, we become better, no matter what: we either learn something about ourselves, achieve a goal, or are a step closer.

So, how do we adopt this mindset to make change permanent? To move from temporary resolution to automatic habit?